Longer. Harder. Louder.
Gord
Steve
A quarter
century in
the making, The BoneBat Show is a tri-weekly joint project from the
creators of
Bonehand.com
and Mightywombat.com,
and is an audio collection of the intermittantly hilarious,profanity laden musings, declarations and arguments of longtime friends Steve and Gord,
set to original, funky beats, and converted to zeros and ones for your listening pleasure. Please enjoy responsibly.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
WARNING: BoneBat consists almost entirely of adult language and juvenile content, and as such should not be listened to by: children, adults, the elderly, anyone who is pregnant or thinking of becoming
pregnant, anyone who is having sex right at this moment, the capriciously litigious, the humor-impaired, our mothers, pigeons, chickens, ducks, or turkeys, costumeless-high-school-age-trick-or-treaters, rats,
former employers, parents, telekenesists, little people, the blind, people who taunt wild animals, the French, crocheters, rapelling sommeliers, dead cats, customer service professionals, clowns, Julie's Dad,
PDF's, GRRM, our children, Gord's Mother-In-Law, residents of West Virginia, rude kids, dead seals, philatilists, women, frogs, the developmentally disabled, Cincinatti drivers, or anyone with a modicum
of good taste, sense, and/or dignity. Listener discretion strongly advised. You have been warned. Don't come bitching to us later.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
and is an audio collection of the intermittantly hilarious,profanity laden musings, declarations and arguments of longtime friends Steve and Gord,
set to original, funky beats, and converted to zeros and ones for your listening pleasure. Please enjoy responsibly.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
WARNING: BoneBat consists almost entirely of adult language and juvenile content, and as such should not be listened to by: children, adults, the elderly, anyone who is pregnant or thinking of becoming
pregnant, anyone who is having sex right at this moment, the capriciously litigious, the humor-impaired, our mothers, pigeons, chickens, ducks, or turkeys, costumeless-high-school-age-trick-or-treaters, rats,
former employers, parents, telekenesists, little people, the blind, people who taunt wild animals, the French, crocheters, rapelling sommeliers, dead cats, customer service professionals, clowns, Julie's Dad,
PDF's, GRRM, our children, Gord's Mother-In-Law, residents of West Virginia, rude kids, dead seals, philatilists, women, frogs, the developmentally disabled, Cincinatti drivers, or anyone with a modicum
of good taste, sense, and/or dignity. Listener discretion strongly advised. You have been warned. Don't come bitching to us later.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
BONEBAT BACK EPISODES ONE THROUGH TEN
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT TEN
"Aggro E Olio: The Pissed-Off Extended Dance Mix" - posted 06/15/08
This Episode: Steve and Gord double their usual length (and quadruple their girth) by
presenting the first ever BoneBat Pissed-Off -Off, a veritable lightning round of rage,
annoyance, and pique. Plus, they review the importance of handing out your correct
work number, give away a free CD, and offend everyone with "the Filthy Joke of the
Week". This episode's accompaniment of anger comes courtesy of Seattle's I ROT. [Link].
Episode Ten Music:
"Death Merchant 2008", "Vicarious", "Can You Tell", "The Most Horrible", "Monsters On The Hill", "Travelin' Man",
"Andrea's Daycare", "Violence in Human Form", "Patience", "Lines to Cross", "Nothing Left But Murder", "Death
Merchant", "Whoregun Grinder", Kill Everything" and "Hell Has Come", taken from the CD's I ROT and Kill Everything
[Review] respectively. All music by I ROT, courtesy of BJ and their own bad selves. Click the Pic to check 'em out.
Pinto Gigante can be found by clicking the banner below. It whizzes all over every other metal podcast,
even when tardy.
__________________________________________________________________________________ ________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT NINE
"Nostalgia, Grievance and Orifii" - first posted 05/25/08
A few Topps "Weird Wheels" cards, as found in the Brandedinthe80s Blog. [Link]
This Episode: Steve and Gord look back at some cool junk from the past, gripe
about childhood chores, listen to awesome Midwest Ska, assess the early crop of summer
movies, and achieve a measure of clown closure. This episode's music comes courtesy
of Michigan's now-defunct Parka Kings [Link].
Thanks for the great music fellas, you are missed!
Episode Nine Music:
"City Limits", "Two-Tone Beat", "Whiskey Wine and Roserys", "Hip Ska", "Casino City", "Radio Song", "American CPS",
"Spring Ahead", "Dish or Die", "Slow Me Down", "Mob Boss", "Jacked", "One By One" and "Kidnapped", taken from the
CD's 23 Skidoo and Beinvenidos! by The Parka Kings on the Jump Up! Ska label. [Link] Both are now sadly out of print.
"Aggro E Olio: The Pissed-Off Extended Dance Mix" - posted 06/15/08
This Episode: Steve and Gord double their usual length (and quadruple their girth) by
presenting the first ever BoneBat Pissed-Off -Off, a veritable lightning round of rage,
annoyance, and pique. Plus, they review the importance of handing out your correct
work number, give away a free CD, and offend everyone with "the Filthy Joke of the
Week". This episode's accompaniment of anger comes courtesy of Seattle's I ROT. [Link].
Episode Ten Music:
"Death Merchant 2008", "Vicarious", "Can You Tell", "The Most Horrible", "Monsters On The Hill", "Travelin' Man",
"Andrea's Daycare", "Violence in Human Form", "Patience", "Lines to Cross", "Nothing Left But Murder", "Death
Merchant", "Whoregun Grinder", Kill Everything" and "Hell Has Come", taken from the CD's I ROT and Kill Everything
[Review] respectively. All music by I ROT, courtesy of BJ and their own bad selves. Click the Pic to check 'em out.
Pinto Gigante can be found by clicking the banner below. It whizzes all over every other metal podcast,
even when tardy.
__________________________________________________________________________________ ________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT NINE
"Nostalgia, Grievance and Orifii" - first posted 05/25/08
A few Topps "Weird Wheels" cards, as found in the Brandedinthe80s Blog. [Link]
This Episode: Steve and Gord look back at some cool junk from the past, gripe
about childhood chores, listen to awesome Midwest Ska, assess the early crop of summer
movies, and achieve a measure of clown closure. This episode's music comes courtesy
of Michigan's now-defunct Parka Kings [Link].
Thanks for the great music fellas, you are missed!
Episode Nine Music:
"City Limits", "Two-Tone Beat", "Whiskey Wine and Roserys", "Hip Ska", "Casino City", "Radio Song", "American CPS",
"Spring Ahead", "Dish or Die", "Slow Me Down", "Mob Boss", "Jacked", "One By One" and "Kidnapped", taken from the
CD's 23 Skidoo and Beinvenidos! by The Parka Kings on the Jump Up! Ska label. [Link] Both are now sadly out of print.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT EIGHT
"Tumbler of Love" - first posted 05/04/08
This Episode: Julie joins Steve and Gord for another increasingly filthy round of obnoxiousness
as they cover Gord's favorite headlines, the old cookie bait-and-switch, piss-poor customer
service, racy late night commercials, clown-hiring danger signs, fashion for old people, and
magical fertility beverages; then mince words and plug those who shalt be plugged. This
episode's epic speaker-wrecking musical offering comes to you from Chico, CA's The Makai,
[Home] and [MySpace], courtesy of Seventh Rule Recordings. [Link]
Episode Eight Music:
"Hound of Hades", "Sedna's Tale", "Beast Born From Lies", "Fire Breathing Damsel Devourer", "Lady of the Lake", "The
Plague of Time", "The 10th Labor of Hercules" and "Gotterdammerung", all taken from from the CD The End of All You Know
by The Makai, on Seventh Rule Recordings. Buy It Here, or click the pic below!
Also
Check
out
Pinto
Gigante
and
Drunken
Zombie!
Julie's new book UNCOMMON CROCHET is NOW on sale, and can be purchased here at Powell's.com,
or at finer bookshops everywhere.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT SEVEN
"A Visit from Knuckles" - first posted 04/13/08
This Episode: Steve and Gord welcome crochet designer extraordinaire Julie "Skamama"
Holetz to the festivities, as they discuss filthy sponges, the swinging of dead cats,
suddenly defunct businesses, less-than-satisfying culinary vacations, Marital grudges, La Musica,
and how Julie came to be known as "Knuckles". This episode's cool-ass music comes from the
Acme Rocket Quartet out of Davis, CA. [MySpace], courtesy of Lather Records. [Link]
Episode Seven music:
"Inspirado", "Xtabentun", "Something is Rotten in Denmark", "Tracksuit Suite", "Lusitania (Long Beneath the Whelming Brine)",
"Dance of the Seven Veils", "Four Chambers of the Heart" and "Spoke French", all taken from from the CD Sound Camera by
Acme Rocket Quartet, on Lather Records. Buy It Here!
Julie's new book UNCOMMON CROCHET is NOW on sale, and can be purchased here at Powell's.com,
or at finer bookshops everywhere. As mentioned in the podcast, Julie's long awaited SEISMIC hat pattern can
be found HERE, a Bonehand.com exclusive!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT SIX REMIXED!
"The French Hole" - first posted 03/16/08, REMIXED 04/17/11
This Episode: Gord gets his ass whipped by Coke yet again, Stale popcorn and CD packaging
get the best of Steve, and they discuss snow tubing and parenting foibles, and plumb the
depths of The French Hole, all to the kick-ass tunes of Seattle's Barefoot Barnacle!
And it's all remixed to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No "Gord-Shot-First"
CGI enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a BoneBat Classic!
Episode Six music:
"Kattywhompus", "Beauty of Bestiality", "Sea Enemy', "Urine Feces", "Severe Anal Regurgitation" and "Beer and Lotion".
All music in Episode 6 was written and performed by Barefoot Barnacle, used courtesy of their own bad selves. Check
them out online via their MySpace HERE, or buy their debut CD by clicking the banner above. Be like Steve and Gord, and
SUPPORT INDEPENDENT MUSIC!
______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT FIVE REMIXED!
"Bitter About the Butter" - first posted 2/10/08, REMIXED 04/11/10
This week: Steve and Gord celebrate one full year of Bonehand.com, with
discussions of unrequited cravings, childhood disorientation, public restroom
etiquette, dubiously motivated cash windfalls, things that piss our wives off,
and the best place to keep the damned butter.
And it's all remixed to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No "Gord-Shot-First"
CGI enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a BoneBat Classic!
Episode Five music:
"Track One", "Track Two", "Track Three","Track Four", and "Track Nine", from the unreleased Garageband Tapes by T.S. Holub.
All of the above music is written and performed by T.S. Holub , used courtesy of his own bad self.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT FOUR REMIXED!
"Stumbling from the Wreckage of '07" - first posted 01/06/08, REMIXED 01/17/10
This week: Steve and Gord discuss what pisses them off: the year in review, the curse
of the video game store, bad habits, and how to avoid tiger attacks; all while flipping the
bird to 2007, and meeting the new year at the door in a sexy negligee, martini in hand,
to tunes from TS Holub and Bonehand himself!
And it's all remixed to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No "Gord-Shot-First"
CGI enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a BoneBat Classic!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT THREE REMIXED!
"Unemployed, Uninformed and Unhinged" - First posted 12/09/07, REMIXED 01/03/10
This week: Steve and Gord discuss a stunning lack of job security, the mistaken beliefs
of childhood, and things that piss them off, whilst chilling to the sounds of Sacramento's
freakin' cool San Kazakgascar.
And it's all remixed to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No "Gord-Shot-First"
CGI enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a BoneBat Classic!
Episode Three
music:
"Dallas via Damascus", "El Rio Flaco", "Tuk Tuk to Nowhere", "Stun" and "Mosqitoes and Gnats" by San Kazakgascar.
All are taken from the album Greetings From Beautiful San Kazakgascar, now available from Lather Records, which can be
purchesed by clicking the above image. Bonehand commands you to buy It ! [Link]
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT EIGHT
"Tumbler of Love" - first posted 05/04/08
This Episode: Julie joins Steve and Gord for another increasingly filthy round of obnoxiousness
as they cover Gord's favorite headlines, the old cookie bait-and-switch, piss-poor customer
service, racy late night commercials, clown-hiring danger signs, fashion for old people, and
magical fertility beverages; then mince words and plug those who shalt be plugged. This
episode's epic speaker-wrecking musical offering comes to you from Chico, CA's The Makai,
[Home] and [MySpace], courtesy of Seventh Rule Recordings. [Link]
Episode Eight Music:
"Hound of Hades", "Sedna's Tale", "Beast Born From Lies", "Fire Breathing Damsel Devourer", "Lady of the Lake", "The
Plague of Time", "The 10th Labor of Hercules" and "Gotterdammerung", all taken from from the CD The End of All You Know
by The Makai, on Seventh Rule Recordings. Buy It Here, or click the pic below!
Also
Check
out
Pinto
Gigante
and
Drunken
Zombie!
Julie's new book UNCOMMON CROCHET is NOW on sale, and can be purchased here at Powell's.com,
or at finer bookshops everywhere.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT SEVEN
"A Visit from Knuckles" - first posted 04/13/08
This Episode: Steve and Gord welcome crochet designer extraordinaire Julie "Skamama"
Holetz to the festivities, as they discuss filthy sponges, the swinging of dead cats,
suddenly defunct businesses, less-than-satisfying culinary vacations, Marital grudges, La Musica,
and how Julie came to be known as "Knuckles". This episode's cool-ass music comes from the
Acme Rocket Quartet out of Davis, CA. [MySpace], courtesy of Lather Records. [Link]
Episode Seven music:
"Inspirado", "Xtabentun", "Something is Rotten in Denmark", "Tracksuit Suite", "Lusitania (Long Beneath the Whelming Brine)",
"Dance of the Seven Veils", "Four Chambers of the Heart" and "Spoke French", all taken from from the CD Sound Camera by
Acme Rocket Quartet, on Lather Records. Buy It Here!
Julie's new book UNCOMMON CROCHET is NOW on sale, and can be purchased here at Powell's.com,
or at finer bookshops everywhere. As mentioned in the podcast, Julie's long awaited SEISMIC hat pattern can
be found HERE, a Bonehand.com exclusive!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT SIX REMIXED!
"The French Hole" - first posted 03/16/08, REMIXED 04/17/11
This Episode: Gord gets his ass whipped by Coke yet again, Stale popcorn and CD packaging
get the best of Steve, and they discuss snow tubing and parenting foibles, and plumb the
depths of The French Hole, all to the kick-ass tunes of Seattle's Barefoot Barnacle!
And it's all remixed to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No "Gord-Shot-First"
CGI enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a BoneBat Classic!
Episode Six music:
"Kattywhompus", "Beauty of Bestiality", "Sea Enemy', "Urine Feces", "Severe Anal Regurgitation" and "Beer and Lotion".
All music in Episode 6 was written and performed by Barefoot Barnacle, used courtesy of their own bad selves. Check
them out online via their MySpace HERE, or buy their debut CD by clicking the banner above. Be like Steve and Gord, and
SUPPORT INDEPENDENT MUSIC!
______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT FIVE REMIXED!
"Bitter About the Butter" - first posted 2/10/08, REMIXED 04/11/10
This week: Steve and Gord celebrate one full year of Bonehand.com, with
discussions of unrequited cravings, childhood disorientation, public restroom
etiquette, dubiously motivated cash windfalls, things that piss our wives off,
and the best place to keep the damned butter.
And it's all remixed to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No "Gord-Shot-First"
CGI enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a BoneBat Classic!
Episode Five music:
"Track One", "Track Two", "Track Three","Track Four", and "Track Nine", from the unreleased Garageband Tapes by T.S. Holub.
All of the above music is written and performed by T.S. Holub , used courtesy of his own bad self.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT FOUR REMIXED!
"Stumbling from the Wreckage of '07" - first posted 01/06/08, REMIXED 01/17/10
This week: Steve and Gord discuss what pisses them off: the year in review, the curse
of the video game store, bad habits, and how to avoid tiger attacks; all while flipping the
bird to 2007, and meeting the new year at the door in a sexy negligee, martini in hand,
to tunes from TS Holub and Bonehand himself!
And it's all remixed to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No "Gord-Shot-First"
CGI enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a BoneBat Classic!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT THREE REMIXED!
"Unemployed, Uninformed and Unhinged" - First posted 12/09/07, REMIXED 01/03/10
This week: Steve and Gord discuss a stunning lack of job security, the mistaken beliefs
of childhood, and things that piss them off, whilst chilling to the sounds of Sacramento's
freakin' cool San Kazakgascar.
And it's all remixed to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No "Gord-Shot-First"
CGI enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a BoneBat Classic!
"Dallas via Damascus", "El Rio Flaco", "Tuk Tuk to Nowhere", "Stun" and "Mosqitoes and Gnats" by San Kazakgascar.
All are taken from the album Greetings From Beautiful San Kazakgascar, now available from Lather Records, which can be
purchesed by clicking the above image. Bonehand commands you to buy It ! [Link]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT TWO REMIXED!
"Oh, The Horror!" - first posted 10/28/07, REMIXED 10/11/09
In our first Halloween Episode, Steve and Gord itemize their profanity, and discuss some
history, Halloween rituals past and present, spooky movies, and extreme prejudice pest
control, all remixed to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No "Gord-Shot-First"
CGI enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come
to expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard moments, and it sounds
a WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a BoneBat Classic!
This episode features the music of Seattle's own Barefoot Barnacle. They rule, check
them out by clicking the banner below.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT TWO REMIXED!
"Oh, The Horror!" - first posted 10/28/07, REMIXED 10/11/09
In our first Halloween Episode, Steve and Gord itemize their profanity, and discuss some
history, Halloween rituals past and present, spooky movies, and extreme prejudice pest
control, all remixed to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No "Gord-Shot-First"
CGI enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come
to expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard moments, and it sounds
a WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a BoneBat Classic!
This episode features the music of Seattle's own Barefoot Barnacle. They rule, check
them out by clicking the banner below.
Episode Two
music:
"Beer and Lotion", "Urine Feces", "Severe Anal Regurgitation" and Kattywhompus" by Barefoot Barnacle.
"Grim Grinning Ghosts", "Demon Blues", "Mortgage of Doom (Instrumental)" and "Oxygen Debt" by Bonehand.
"Beer and Lotion", "Urine Feces", "Severe Anal Regurgitation" and Kattywhompus" by Barefoot Barnacle.
"Grim Grinning Ghosts", "Demon Blues", "Mortgage of Doom (Instrumental)" and "Oxygen Debt" by Bonehand.
Includes bonus cut: "Baby Got
Brains", the Zombie Karaoke we did for Mail Order Zombie
Erratum: While both are influential Horror directors of the first order, Stuart Gordon is the director of the awesome
Reanimator films and From Beyond, and despite Steve's idiocy, should not be confused with Herschell Gordon Lewis,
the "godfather of gore" and director of Blood Feast. Please make a note of it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT ONE REMIXED!
"Enter The BoneBat"- first posted 9/30/07, REMIXED 03/01/09
This week: Steve and Gord discuss the perils of camping, rennaissance faires, political pet
peeves, preposterous snack sizes, and those with an untoward interest in poultry, all remixed
to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure. No "Gord Shot First", CGI enhancement
bullshit here, It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come to expect from us,
only now it sounds a WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a
BoneBat Classic!
in 2009. Apologies to Sir Mixalot.
Erratum: While both are influential Horror directors of the first order, Stuart Gordon is the director of the awesome
Reanimator films and From Beyond, and despite Steve's idiocy, should not be confused with Herschell Gordon Lewis,
the "godfather of gore" and director of Blood Feast. Please make a note of it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT ONE REMIXED!
"Enter The BoneBat"- first posted 9/30/07, REMIXED 03/01/09
This week: Steve and Gord discuss the perils of camping, rennaissance faires, political pet
peeves, preposterous snack sizes, and those with an untoward interest in poultry, all remixed
to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure. No "Gord Shot First", CGI enhancement
bullshit here, It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've come to expect from us,
only now it sounds a WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity to revisit a
BoneBat Classic!
Episode One
music:
"Oxygen Debt", "Mortgage of Doom (Instrumental)" and "Demon Blues" by Bonehand.
"Track One", "Track Nine", and "Track Eleven", by T. Holub.
"Oxygen Debt", "Mortgage of Doom (Instrumental)" and "Demon Blues" by Bonehand.
"Track One", "Track Nine", and "Track Eleven", by T. Holub.
As mentioned in this month's
Bone/Bat: Pigeons
, by Gonzalo Ferreyra
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
BoneBat 1-10 BoneBat 11-20 BoneBat 21-30 BoneBat 31-40 BoneBat 41-50
The BoneBat Show is Copyright 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 by G J Caulkins and S J Holetz. All rights reserved.
All music contained within BoneBat is original and copyright of the artist.
`````````````````
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