A quarter
century in
the making, The BoneBat Show is a tri-weekly joint project from the
creators of
Bonehand.com
and Mightywombat.com,
and is an audio collection of the
intermittantly hilarious,profanity laden
musings, declarations
and arguments of
longtime friends Steve and Gord,
set to original, funky beats, and converted
to
zeros
and
ones
for
your
listening
pleasure.
Please
enjoy
responsibly.
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WARNING:
BoneBat consists
almost entirely of adult language and juvenile content, and as such
should not be listened to by: children, adults, the
elderly, anyone
who is pregnant or thinking of becoming
pregnant, anyone who is having
sex
right at this moment, the capriciously litigious, the humor-impaired,
our
mothers, pigeons, chickens, ducks, or turkeys,
costumeless-high-school-age-trick-or-treaters, rats,
former employers,
parents, telekenesists, little people, the blind,
people who taunt wild animals, the French, crocheters, rapelling
sommeliers, dead cats, customer service professionals, clowns, Julie's
Dad,
PDF's,
GRRM, our children, Gord's
Mother-In-Law, residents of
West Virginia, rude kids, dead seals, philatilists, women, frogs, the
developmentally
disabled, Cincinatti drivers, or
anyone with a modicum
of
good
taste, sense,
and/or dignity. Listener discretion strongly advised. You have been
warned. Don't come bitching
to us later.
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BONEBAT BACK EPISODES ONE THROUGH TEN
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CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT TEN
"Aggro E Olio: The Pissed-Off Extended Dance Mix" -
posted 06/15/08
This Episode: Steve and Gord double their
usual length (and quadruple their girth) by
presenting the first ever BoneBat
Pissed-Off -Off, a veritable
lightning round of
rage,
annoyance, and pique. Plus, they review
the importance of handing
out your correct
work number, give away a free CD, and
offend everyone with "the Filthy
Joke of the
Week". This episode's accompaniment of
anger comes
courtesy of Seattle's I ROT.
[Link].
Episode Ten
Music:
"Death Merchant 2008", "Vicarious", "Can You Tell",
"The Most Horrible", "Monsters On The Hill", "Travelin'
Man",
"Andrea's Daycare", "Violence
in
Human
Form",
"Patience",
"Lines
to
Cross",
"Nothing
Left
But
Murder",
"Death
Merchant", "Whoregun Grinder",
Kill
Everything"
and
"Hell
Has
Come",
taken
from the CD's I ROT and Kill Everything
[Review] respectively.
All
music
by
I ROT,
courtesy of BJ and their own bad selves. Click the Pic to check 'em out.
Pinto Gigante can be found by clicking the
banner below. It
whizzes all over every other metal podcast,
even when tardy.
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CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT NINE
"Nostalgia, Grievance and Orifii" - first
posted 05/25/08
A few Topps "Weird Wheels" cards, as found in
the
Brandedinthe80s Blog. [Link]
This Episode: Steve and Gord look back at some cool
junk
from the past, gripe
about childhood chores, listen to awesome Midwest Ska, assess the
early
crop of summer
movies, and achieve a measure of clown closure. This
episode's music comes courtesy
of Michigan's now-defunct Parka
Kings
[Link].
Thanks for the great music fellas,
you are missed!
Episode Nine Music:
"City Limits", "Two-Tone Beat", "Whiskey Wine and
Roserys", "Hip Ska", "Casino City", "Radio
Song",
"American
CPS",
"Spring
Ahead", "Dish or Die",
"Slow Me Down", "Mob Boss", "Jacked", "One
By
One"
and
"Kidnapped",
taken
from the
CD's 23 Skidoo
and Beinvenidos! by
The Parka Kings on the Jump Up! Ska label. [Link]
Both are now sadly out of
print.
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CLICK
HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT EIGHT
"Tumbler of Love" - first
posted 05/04/08
This Episode: Julie joins Steve and Gord for another
increasingly filthy round of obnoxiousness
as they cover Gord's favorite headlines, the old cookie
bait-and-switch, piss-poor customer
service, racy late night commercials, clown-hiring danger
signs, fashion for old people, and
magical fertility beverages; then mince words and plug those who shalt
be plugged. This
episode's epic speaker-wrecking musical offering comes to you from
Chico, CA's The Makai,
[Home] and
[MySpace], courtesy of
Seventh Rule Recordings. [Link]
Episode Eight Music:
"Hound of Hades", "Sedna's Tale", "Beast Born From
Lies", "Fire Breathing Damsel Devourer", "Lady of the Lake", "The
Plague of Time", "The 10th Labor of Hercules" and "Gotterdammerung",
all taken from from
the CD The End of All You Know
by The Makai,
on Seventh Rule Recordings. Buy It Here,
or
click
the
pic
below!
Also
Check
out
Pinto
Gigante
and
Drunken
Zombie!
Julie's new book UNCOMMON CROCHET is NOW on sale,
and can be
purchased
here
at Powell's.com,
or at finer bookshops everywhere.
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CLICK HERE
TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT
SEVEN
"A Visit from Knuckles" - first
posted 04/13/08
This Episode: Steve and Gord welcome crochet designer
extraordinaire Julie "Skamama"
Holetz to the festivities, as they discuss filthy
sponges,
the
swinging of dead cats,
suddenly defunct businesses, less-than-satisfying culinary
vacations,
Marital grudges, La Musica,
and how Julie came to be known as "Knuckles". This episode's
cool-ass
music comes from the
Acme Rocket Quartet out of Davis, CA. [MySpace],
courtesy of Lather Records. [Link]
Episode Seven music:
"Inspirado", "Xtabentun", "Something is Rotten in
Denmark", "Tracksuit
Suite", "Lusitania (Long Beneath the Whelming Brine)",
"Dance of the Seven Veils", "Four Chambers of the
Heart" and "Spoke
French", all taken from from
the CD Sound Camera by
Acme Rocket Quartet,
on
Lather
Records.
Buy
It
Here!
Julie's new book UNCOMMON CROCHET is NOW on sale, and can be
purchased
here
at Powell's.com,
or at finer bookshops everywhere. As mentioned in
the podcast,
Julie's long awaited SEISMIC hat pattern
can
be found
HERE, a Bonehand.com exclusive!
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CLICK
HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT SIX REMIXED!
"The French Hole" - first
posted 03/16/08, REMIXED
04/17/11
This Episode: Gord gets his
ass whipped by Coke yet again, Stale popcorn and CD packaging
get the best of Steve, and they discuss snow tubing and
parenting
foibles, and plumb the
depths of The French Hole, all
to the kick-ass tunes of Seattle's Barefoot
Barnacle!
And it's all remixed
to a lustrous sheen for your
listening pleasure! No
"Gord-Shot-First"
CGI
enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and
juvenile humor you've
come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a
few new never-before-heard
moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT
better. So please take this opportunity
to
revisit a BoneBat Classic!
Episode Six
music:
"Kattywhompus", "Beauty
of Bestiality", "Sea Enemy',
"Urine Feces",
"Severe Anal Regurgitation" and "Beer
and
Lotion".
All
music
in
Episode
6
was
written
and
performed
by
Barefoot
Barnacle,
used
courtesy of their
own
bad
selves.
Check
them out online via their
MySpace
HERE, or buy their
debut CD by
clicking the banner above. Be
like
Steve
and
Gord,
and
SUPPORT
INDEPENDENT
MUSIC!
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CLICK
HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT FIVE REMIXED!
"Bitter About the Butter" - first
posted 2/10/08, REMIXED
04/11/10
This week: Steve and Gord celebrate one full year of Bonehand.com,
with
discussions of unrequited cravings, childhood disorientation,
public
restroom
etiquette, dubiously motivated cash windfalls, things that piss
our
wives off,
and the best place to keep the damned butter.
And it's all remixed
to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No
"Gord-Shot-First"
CGI
enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and
juvenile humor you've
come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard
moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT
better. So please take this opportunity
to
revisit a BoneBat Classic!
Episode Five
music:
"Track One", "Track Two", "Track
Three","Track Four",
and "Track Nine", from the unreleased Garageband
Tapes by
T.S. Holub.
All
of
the
above
music
is
written
and
performed
by
T.S. Holub ,
used
courtesy
of
his own
bad self.
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CLICK
HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT FOUR REMIXED!
"Stumbling from the Wreckage of '07"
- first
posted 01/06/08, REMIXED
01/17/10
This week: Steve and Gord discuss what pisses them off: the year
in
review, the curse
of the video game store, bad habits, and how to avoid tiger
attacks;
all while flipping the
bird to 2007, and meeting the new year at the door in a sexy
negligee,
martini in
hand,
to tunes from TS Holub and Bonehand himself!
And it's all remixed
to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No
"Gord-Shot-First"
CGI
enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and
juvenile humor you've
come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard
moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT
better. So please take this opportunity
to
revisit a BoneBat Classic!
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CLICK
HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT THREE REMIXED!
"Unemployed, Uninformed and Unhinged" - First
posted 12/09/07, REMIXED
01/03/10
This week: Steve and Gord discuss a stunning lack of job
security,
the
mistaken beliefs
of childhood, and things that piss them off, whilst chilling to
the sounds of Sacramento's
freakin' cool San
Kazakgascar.
And it's all remixed
to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No
"Gord-Shot-First"
CGI
enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and
juvenile humor you've
come to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard
moments, and it sounds a
WHOLE LOT
better. So please take this opportunity
to
revisit a BoneBat Classic!
Episode Three
music:
"Dallas via Damascus", "El Rio Flaco", "Tuk Tuk to
Nowhere", "Stun"
and "Mosqitoes and Gnats" by
San Kazakgascar.
All are taken
from the album Greetings From Beautiful San
Kazakgascar, now
available
from
Lather
Records,
which
can
be
purchesed by clicking the above image. Bonehand commands you to
buy It ! [Link]
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CLICK
HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT TWO REMIXED!
"Oh, The Horror!" - first
posted 10/28/07, REMIXED
10/11/09
In our first Halloween Episode, Steve
and Gord itemize their
profanity, and discuss some
history, Halloween rituals past and present, spooky movies,
and
extreme
prejudice pest
control, all remixed
to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure! No
"Gord-Shot-First"
CGI
enhancement BS here. It's all the amateurishness and
juvenile humor you've
come
to
expect from BoneBat, but with a few new never-before-heard
moments, and it sounds
a WHOLE LOT
better. So please take this opportunity
to
revisit a BoneBat Classic!
This episode features the music of Seattle's own Barefoot Barnacle. They rule, check
them out by
clicking the
banner below.
Episode Two
music:
"Beer and Lotion", "Urine Feces", "Severe Anal Regurgitation" and
Kattywhompus" by
Barefoot Barnacle.
"Grim Grinning Ghosts", "Demon
Blues", "Mortgage of Doom
(Instrumental)" and "Oxygen
Debt"
by
Bonehand.
Includes bonus cut: "Baby Got
Brains", the Zombie Karaoke we did for Mail Order Zombie
in 2009. Apologies to Sir Mixalot.
Erratum: While both
are influential Horror directors
of
the first order, Stuart Gordon is the director of the awesome
Reanimator
films and From Beyond, and
despite Steve's
idiocy, should not be confused with Herschell
Gordon
Lewis,
the "godfather of gore" and
director of Blood Feast. Please make a note of it.
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CLICK
HERE TO DOWNLOAD BONEBAT
ONE REMIXED!
"Enter The BoneBat"-
first
posted 9/30/07, REMIXED
03/01/09
This week: Steve and Gord discuss the perils of camping,
rennaissance
faires, political pet
peeves, preposterous snack sizes, and
those
with an
untoward interest in poultry, all remixed
to a lustrous sheen for your listening pleasure. No "Gord
Shot First", CGI
enhancement
bullshit here, It's all the amateurishness and juvenile humor you've
come to
expect from us,
only now it sounds a WHOLE LOT better. So please take this opportunity
to
revisit a
BoneBat Classic!
Episode One
music:
"Oxygen Debt", "Mortgage of Doom (Instrumental)" and "Demon Blues" by
Bonehand.
"Track One", "Track
Nine",
and "Track
Eleven", by
T. Holub.
As mentioned in this month's
Bone/Bat: Pigeons
, by Gonzalo Ferreyra
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